Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
Last Updated: 26.06.2025 02:09
It’s here now, writing to you.
The sadness was still there.
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
Have you ever lied to your family? What were the circumstances?
I had run out of hope.
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
4 ways the Desmond Bane trade could affect the Celtics - Boston.com
It’s still here.
I was tired of trying and failing.
I was tired of fighting.
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
And the sadness?
Trump, DOJ threaten Calif. with legal action, fines after trans athlete’s win - The Washington Post
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
Was Jimmy Carter a good President of the United States?
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
Be who you already are.
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
10 Must-See Movies at the 2025 Tribeca Festival - IndieWire
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
You are like me, then.
How to watch the 2025 Tony Awards - CNN
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
If you used Pocket to save links, these alternatives will serve you well - Android Police
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
Heroes of the Storm Live Patch Notes - June 2, 2025 - Blizzard News
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.